Masses of Everything

Star Wars: The Empire Brokeback

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I hit the jackpot!

Not long ago I was driving and passed a billboard that listed the jackpot of the Powerball. It was $9.6 million, billion, trillion, gad-zillion, or some such number that my small mind couldn't quite tackle. (I get excited when my checking account has 3 digits in front of the decimal.) So my mind took off down the what-if highway and began to wonder about all that could be enjoyed with such a ridiculous sum. After a fair amount of wasted brain energy and establishing several imaginary foundations, I as brought back to reality by one small fact - I have never ever bought a lottery ticket. (See above referenced bank account.) At least all I wasted was a little time in an otherwise empty brain.

Stupid is as Stupid Does

OK, so now we all know that VP Dick Cheney shot a man. This goes without saying is incredibly stupid. What could be even more stupid is the Veep's response or lack there of. According to today's interview with Mr. Cheney, he wanted to know the facts of the vitim's condition before alerting the media. How dare Mr. Cheney doubt the press corp's ability to accurately report a story!

Apparently believing that one good bout of idiocy derserves another, the enlighted, objective Amerian press as take to showing up all over talk shows wearing orange safety vests.

Don't forget, guns don't hurt people - Vice Presidents do. David Gregory is on his way to Texas to interview the gun.

Stupid is as Stupid Does

The battle appears to be between Harry Reid and Wayne Gretzky for the biggest idiot of February 2006.

Not so Super Bowl

First, congrats to the Steelers. But the game itself was pretty ugly. Mistakes on both side, and only one real big play - the reverse pass from Randel El to Hines Ward.

The only thing worse than the play was the work of the officials. The NFL has to do something about this. It was just plain sad, and will unfortunately be an asterisk beside an otherwise great run of the NFL's only 6 seed Super Bowl champion.

Even the commercials didn't seem that special this year. The best part of the whole show was of course the Rolling Stones.

One Percent

Bono spoke yesterday at the National Prayer Breakfast. What an incredible speach! Bono is a man who can hold our feet to the fire without throwing us in it. He brings us to account and reminds us that we, like him, are all responsible for God's work on this earth. Here are a few of his remarks.

If you’re wondering what I’m doing here, at a prayer breakfast, well, so am I.  I’m certainly not here as a man of the cloth, unless that cloth is leather.  It’s certainly not because I’m a rock star.  Which leaves one possible explanation:  I’m here because I’ve got a messianic complex.

God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house… God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both their lives… God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war… God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives, and God is with us if we are with them.  “If you remove the yolk from your midst, the pointing of the finger and speaking wickedness, and if you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness and your gloom with become like midday and the Lord will continually guide you and satisfy your desire in scorched places”

Here’s some good news for the President.  After 9-11 we were told America would have no time for the World’s poor.  America would be taken up with its own problems of safety.  And it’s true these are dangerous times, but America has not drawn the blinds and double-locked the doors. 

In fact, you have double aid to Africa.  You have tripled funding for global health.  Mr. President, your emergency plan for AIDS relief and support for the Global Fund—you and Congress—have put 700,000 people onto life-saving anti-retroviral drugs and provided 8 million bed nets to protect children from malaria.

One percent is national security, enlightened economic self interest, and a better safer world rolled into one. Sounds to me that in this town of deals and compromises, one percent is the best bargain around.

A Story Worth Hearing

I think I will make A Story Worth Hearing into a weekly event. These will be uplifting stories of folks who are living examples of the undying human spirit.

The second story also comes from Jim Rome and is that of Philadelphia Eagle Vince Papale. Papale, a substitute teacher, attends and open tryout to make the Eagles team and become a contributor the to Eagles teams of the late ‘70s.

Favorite State of the Union Moments

I actually watched most of the State of the Union address. Here are a few of my favorite moments from the night’s festivus.

1. Cindy getting busted before the coin toss. And she wants to call the President and idiot?
2. Democratic West Virginian and Grand Wizard Robert Byrd standing on the house floor is full wizard regalia singing “Burning down the house”.
3. Trent Lott beginning to stand to sing with Senator Byrd and then sitting back down, nervously looking around to see if anyone noticed.
4. Ted Kennedy heckling the president as he took the podium saying “adsfae gwhkbl you’ve bpoldp, damn it!” He then fell face first over his desk. Rumor has it yakked on Hill’s new pumps.
5. Dick Chaney restarting his heart four times during the President’s speech and never once having to leave his seat.
6. New Orleans Mayor Nagin tossing Hershey Kisses at the legislators below in honor of his city’s new status as America’s “chocolate city”. However, in his rush to grab the treats and get to the event on time he picked up the wrong bag. Many of the legislators were visibly confused when they opened the little morsel to find white chocolate. Shelia Jackson Lee threw hers back.
7. Ted Kennedy awaking from his stupor to attempt to claim his share of Nagin’s chocolate and becoming involved in a confrontation Barney Frank.
8. Strangely, former congressman Jim Traficant rushed the mike, began beating the President with his famous toupee, and screaming “Beam me up Scotty!”

At that point I awoke in a puddle of drool and realized that I had fallen asleep after Cindy got busted and the rest was just a dream. To quote part of President Bush’s address that I dreamed “Screw you guys- I’m going home.”