I actually watched most of the State of the Union address. Here are a few of my favorite moments from the night’s festivus.
- Cindy getting busted before the coin toss. And she wants to call the President and idiot?
- Democratic West Virginian and Grand Wizard Robert Byrd standing on the house floor is full wizard regalia singing “Burning down the house”.
- Trent Lott beginning to stand to sing with Senator Byrd and then sitting back down, nervously looking around to see if anyone noticed.
- Ted Kennedy heckling the president as he took the podium saying “adsfae gwhkbl you’ve bpoldp, damn it!” He then fell face first over his desk. Rumor has it yakked on Hill’s new pumps.
- Dick Chaney restarting his heart four times during the President’s speech and never once having to leave his seat.
- New Orleans Mayor Nagin tossing Hershey Kisses at the legislators below in honor of his city’s new status as America’s “chocolate city”. However, in his rush to grab the treats and get to the event on time he picked up the wrong bag. Many of the legislators were visibly confused when they opened the little morsel to find white chocolate. Shelia Jackson Lee threw hers back.
- Ted Kennedy awaking from his stupor to attempt to claim his share of Nagin’s chocolate and becoming involved in a confrontation Barney Frank.
- Strangely, former congressman Jim Traficant rushed the mike, began beating the President with his famous toupee, and screaming “Beam me up Scotty!”
At that point I awoke in a puddle of drool and realized that I had fallen asleep after Cindy got busted and the rest was just a dream. To quote part of President Bush’s address that I dreamed “Screw you guys- I’m going home.”
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