Masses of Everything

A Billion here, a billion there...

Everett Dirksen said "A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon, you're talking real money." The Massive Brother Frank has been trying his hand at theoretical political math, and the following is his reckoning:

The next time you hear a politician use the word "billion" in a casual
Manner, think about whether you want the "politicians" spending your tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a
good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.

a.. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

b.. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive

c.. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

d.. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

e.. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the
  rate our government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at
New Orleans - It's amazing what you can learn with some simple
division ............

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress
for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans.

Interesting number, what does it mean?

Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man,
woman, child), you each get $516, 528.00

Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, your home
gets $1, 329,787.00

Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012

Apparently, ole Everett was right. At least now we may get free Mardi Gras WiFi for our $250 really large.

Rock, Rock, Rock - Rock Lobster

The French have finally done something worth while that doesn't involve cheese. They have discovered a new species of lobster. Leave it to the French to discover a crustacean that looks like a poodle.

Who'd a Thunk it?

Even though the score board read Kentucky 80 Tennessee 78, and the hearts of the orange blooded faithful were ripped out and left on the court like like a steaming pile of bluegrass thoroughbred biscuits, last night's game only reaffirms that this year the Vol Nation is winner. Who would have thought last October that 24,000 Tennessee fans would come to a basketball game - that's right, a men's basketball game - to form the world's largest checkerboard. Thanks Coach Pearl and the men in Orange!

Ash Wednesday

This is the first Ash Wednesday in several years that I have not been able to worship, and I am surprised at how much I miss it. Ash Wednesday is not the foremost of Christian celebrations. This year for Lent I will be foregoing the joys of chocolate. If I were really committed, I would give up ice-cream. But I'm almost certain I'm not that strong. Besides, I'd hate to cause that much harm to Mayfield's stock holders.

Star Wars: The Empire Brokeback

I love ifilm.com!

I hit the jackpot!

Not long ago I was driving and passed a billboard that listed the jackpot of the Powerball. It was $9.6 million, billion, trillion, gad-zillion, or some such number that my small mind couldn't quite tackle. (I get excited when my checking account has 3 digits in front of the decimal.) So my mind took off down the what-if highway and began to wonder about all that could be enjoyed with such a ridiculous sum. After a fair amount of wasted brain energy and establishing several imaginary foundations, I as brought back to reality by one small fact - I have never ever bought a lottery ticket. (See above referenced bank account.) At least all I wasted was a little time in an otherwise empty brain.

Stupid is as Stupid Does

OK, so now we all know that VP Dick Cheney shot a man. This goes without saying is incredibly stupid. What could be even more stupid is the Veep's response or lack there of. According to today's interview with Mr. Cheney, he wanted to know the facts of the vitim's condition before alerting the media. How dare Mr. Cheney doubt the press corp's ability to accurately report a story!

Apparently believing that one good bout of idiocy derserves another, the enlighted, objective Amerian press as take to showing up all over talk shows wearing orange safety vests.

Don't forget, guns don't hurt people - Vice Presidents do. David Gregory is on his way to Texas to interview the gun.

Stupid is as Stupid Does

The battle appears to be between Harry Reid and Wayne Gretzky for the biggest idiot of February 2006.

Not so Super Bowl

First, congrats to the Steelers. But the game itself was pretty ugly. Mistakes on both side, and only one real big play - the reverse pass from Randel El to Hines Ward.

The only thing worse than the play was the work of the officials. The NFL has to do something about this. It was just plain sad, and will unfortunately be an asterisk beside an otherwise great run of the NFL's only 6 seed Super Bowl champion.

Even the commercials didn't seem that special this year. The best part of the whole show was of course the Rolling Stones.

One Percent

Bono spoke yesterday at the National Prayer Breakfast. What an incredible speach! Bono is a man who can hold our feet to the fire without throwing us in it. He brings us to account and reminds us that we, like him, are all responsible for God's work on this earth. Here are a few of his remarks.

If you’re wondering what I’m doing here, at a prayer breakfast, well, so am I.  I’m certainly not here as a man of the cloth, unless that cloth is leather.  It’s certainly not because I’m a rock star.  Which leaves one possible explanation:  I’m here because I’ve got a messianic complex.

God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house… God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both their lives… God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war… God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives, and God is with us if we are with them.  “If you remove the yolk from your midst, the pointing of the finger and speaking wickedness, and if you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness and your gloom with become like midday and the Lord will continually guide you and satisfy your desire in scorched places”

Here’s some good news for the President.  After 9-11 we were told America would have no time for the World’s poor.  America would be taken up with its own problems of safety.  And it’s true these are dangerous times, but America has not drawn the blinds and double-locked the doors. 

In fact, you have double aid to Africa.  You have tripled funding for global health.  Mr. President, your emergency plan for AIDS relief and support for the Global Fund—you and Congress—have put 700,000 people onto life-saving anti-retroviral drugs and provided 8 million bed nets to protect children from malaria.

One percent is national security, enlightened economic self interest, and a better safer world rolled into one. Sounds to me that in this town of deals and compromises, one percent is the best bargain around.